Piadas sobre professor

Mother: How did you find school today?
Daughter : I just got off the bus and there it was!

Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you?
Pupil: Not very much!

What would happen if you took the school bus home?
The police would make you bring it back!

Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what's so great about that?
It's snowing outside!

Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!

Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?
Pupil: I get up early!

Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line?
Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there!

Mother: How was your first day at school?
Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

What did you learn in school today?
Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!

Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!

Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?
Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

Father: How do you like going to school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

What are you going to be when you get out of school?
An old man!

Student 1: (to female teacher) Can you hold on to my wallet for me while we take the exam? There may or may not be money in it.
Teacher: I can't be bought!
Student 2: Yes, but can you be rented for a little while?

3 jokes

1) An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms - Honey, My love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin etc. The couple had been married for almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names." The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth." He said. "I forgot her name about 10 years ago."

2) Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

3) A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots 2 penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a great time. Today I am taking them to the beach."

(Contribution from Sarah)