3 jokes

1) An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms - Honey, My love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin etc. The couple had been married for almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names." The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth." He said. "I forgot her name about 10 years ago."

2) Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

3) A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots 2 penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a great time. Today I am taking them to the beach."

(Contribution from Sarah)